You know what really gives you satisfaction? Offering others what you have to give.
-Mitch Albom in Tuesdays with Morrie
Quite some time back, I got this book. A small book called “Tuesdays with Morrie”. Read through the first few pages before it rested on a huge stack of books in my book rack. I re-discovered it among that pile of books pretty recently and this time I made sure I devoured through it. And here it is, a small gem of a book with life's little secrets (or realities!) to happiness coming through a dying professor to one of his favorite students. I really liked few lines in the book and thought of scribbling the thoughts that reverberated my mind while going through the book. Few excerpts and my very own thoughts below. The books about Mitch Albom, a sportswriter who met his ailing college professor, Morrie after a long period of time and then kept on meeting him for sixteen Tuesdays to discuss things about, in and around life. Off came, one of the beautiful books that I believe is a must read.
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way to get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. "
A child never has to look for a meaning, nor an adolescent or a teenager. Meaning at that stage manifests in different forms. As desires, as dreams…dreams unlimited actually. From being a toddler to infant to adolescence to teenage to early youth….the studies, sports, friends, all catapulting into one thing after another, platter full of activities, be it studies, exams posing as goals or may be getting your soul mate in youth poised to be the meaning of that stage. Stage by stage or event by event....all came through the spontaneous way and provided that exuberance for the missions seemingly important then. But once you past the age where all done, defining a meaning is perhaps the biggest challenge looms large in adulthood. With growing up and with materialized goals of youth, setting forth newer goals, giving newer meaning to the existence is perhaps one of the top challenges for each human being or it’s too intriguing even to think of. We are way too busy with work, busy with family, busy with life in general. But then what have been the defining moments of this mad rush? Have we ever even got a chance to stop and look back in retrospection? There there, we need to provide that fillip to our own existence, by providing meaning to our lives. whatever smaller way it may be. Life needs it and so does your soul, so does your individuality. After everything that money can buy, what’s that edge you have in your life? Easier said than done. Perhaps something to think about. Growing up should indeed manifests in growing up with the physical growth supplementing to spiritual or inner growth and that would really be an absolute winner. A meaning may translate to lesser worries, lesser issues, lesser agony in life as we at least know what eventually we want. I especially liked the following line Morrie uttered – “If you found meaning into your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You see more, do more”.
Love is the only rational act. Love wins, love always wins…………………Without love, we are birds with broken wings………………You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship……………….Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own…………… Invest in the human family. Invest in people…………... Build a little community of those you love and who love you.
The small things or incidents or events around and with your love, your spouse, your parents, your family that makes the most memorable of moments, shaping the best of camaraderie to cherish throughout life. Life throws up many surprises, perhaps for the better, when life is full of love. Those unconditional simple tidbits of emotions, respects, honor and the feeling of being sought after. The conviction in the beauty of future gets strengthened or perhaps many troubles in life go away or reduce in magnitude when you have those healing ambience of love. That’s what it is perhaps. Investing in relationships, investing in love, investing in ties of human nature. Love perhaps the life’s blanket on those wintery days of cold, cold of grief, cold of unhappiness, cold of missing the mark. Albeit, with love around, moving ahead and making a newer beginning or may be a newer ending is always possible. I strongly subscribe to this. Love is perhaps elements of faith, elements of trust, elements of belief, elements of conviction, elements of being away from consciousness while being in conscience......love does not need to be bounded by diameters, it is being able to give in without thinking what to get out of it, it is bounty-less giving and reciprocating. This one sentence from Morrie perhaps is so elementary of love and relationships we aspire or savor in life -- “Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too- even when you are in the dark. Even when you are falling”.
But envy comes to me, I feel it, and then I let it go. Tell yourself - “that’s envy, I am going to separate from it now”. And walk away. ……………Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you will be overwhelmed with what comes back.
We are human, very human. We live by the things that our mind conceives, rational or irrational-- we learn-unlearn, we love, we respect, we feel envious, we feel zealous, we feel heartburns, we feel happiness, we feel pleasure, we feel successful. All states of mind, but perhaps the culture that we imbibe in ourselves make us getting hooked to or inclined to certain of these feels more dearly. In a mad rush of chasing life and its needed ingredients to become successful or to be man/woman enough ……..we end of losing sight of many things, simplest being forgetting to enjoy our today (with that feeling of frustration, that feeling of envy, that feeling of zealously, that feeling of not having the THINGS yet), enjoy this beautiful day of our living in this beautiful planet, with the people who are around us, loving us…..! Morrie said “You have to find what’s good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now.” Is not it so true, so elementary, yet we don’t care, we ignore it, since we only see the flipper side of the things most of the time. Hey, your today is a beautiful day, it would not come back, feel the breeze, feel the happiness, feel the sun, enjoy the moon, listen how birds chirp, love your dog….! Simple yet highly complex. I am no different - I am perpetually bitten by the same bug. But had I been able to inculcate such simplicity in me, had not the worlds been much more beautiful, more livable? Ah, life…! Perhaps we need to give our best to life, be very ambitious about reaching that position, that pinnacle of success (both material and spiritual) that we envision for ourselves. That journey is immensely beautiful and fulfilling provided we are only influenced by the rightful ways or perhaps we have the maturity to cling into those feels that make us prove we are human, we are indeed rational and we are indeed moving our lives to a direction that’s not defined by just a few mere material aspects. All round growth, getting and setting the goodness in life, creating a culture of values and culture of existence with best things in life is what perhaps we need to learn or aim for. Culture is what you imbibe into yourself, the process of learning about self and process of feeding in maturity to handle practicality of life while being let only those things come into your being that shapes your own identity in a way that shows radiance..it’s not important we pick up everything that the society, the people around, the world around has to offer. We being humans are perhaps best responsible for ourselves, our actions, our beliefs and how we grow up in life with the values. Mistakes, experience, learning from life perhaps reinforces my conviction into this notion. Pick up things that are important to you, that substantiate your vision towards life fulfilled. Morrie said - “How we think, what we value- those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone - or any society - determine those for you. ……………You have to work in creating your own culture.”
He was crying again, a soft and quite cry, and because his head was back, the tears rolled off the side of his face before they reached his lips. Sorry, I said..…….Don't be, he whispered. Tears are okay.
Umpteen times you are told - “Man don’t cry”. Tears are not for man, but is it so? I never cried in many adversaries of life earlier. I kept those tears within....or perhaps even when I wanted to cry, tears did not come out. Perhaps those incidents were not dear to my heart, not very touching to my own being for the tears to show up. Indeed. I have broken down many times in the recent past…tears coming down, trickling from the moist eyes through heartfelt emotions. Nah, tears are okay. I am sure. Tears can only come when it touches matters to heart. If you know how to cry, you know how to love, you know how to value, you know how to respect and you know how human you are.
"As you grow, you learn more. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you are going to die, It’s also the positive that you understand you are going to die, and that you live a better life because of it".
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Is not it? Even the learning part. But once we start the learning process, we are able to have that spark of wisdom into us and we actually start to live our lives. The more awareness we create within ourselves, the more realization we are able to have within us as we grow up, more serenity sets in. From enormous mistakes, enormous learning, enormous errors, indecisions we make/take as we tread on in life makes us even better, perhaps with the growing understanding. As they say, the more you advance in age, the more you start thinking like your dad, unlike the rebelliousness of youth. Deep waters are always free of turbulence….: -).
TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE : A highly recommended reading.
NB: All Pictures courtesy Internet :-)
